Getting Together With Money

Power..........
Control.........
Trust........

Three very big words that few couples factor into the marriage equation before the vows and exchanged and the words "I do" have echoed into the air.

Yet each has the chance to tarnish even the most golden of relationships. Especially in the area of money. It is so critically important that couples go into a marriage understanding each partners expectations of money and it's uses.

So many couples expect to continue and smoothly transition to living in their parents lifestyle by living in similar homes, decorated in a similar manner while driving the same vehicles and taking the same vacations. In many cases, it took their parents a decade or more to build up to that lifestyle. Today's newly weds believe it's possible to recreate that same life all within a few months or a year. For most, it simply is the beginning of financial problems that can lead to financial ruin.

Also, so many couples planning a marriage haven't really discussed the roles each will play in terms of income. The family dynamic has chanced once again, and many soon to be mothers are now staying home to raise a family instead of returning to the workplace as their mothers and grandmothers often did. While certainly a wise choice, most new young couples have already designed their footprint of living conditions without factoring the loss of income from the now staying at home partner.

Finally, consider the big three mentioned above. Power, Control and Trust. It is very easy for the remaining breadwinner to transition into a person who begins to consolidate power and control of the budget as they are the person now earning it. What was once an easy alliance between the couple, trust begins to erode in equal measure to the financial stability beginning to erode as the lifestyle begins to strain the relationship. What was once a strong relationship now has become fragile.

It is key for any couple planning to spend their lives together to truly understand the motives, needs and temperament of each other as they move toward the wedding day.